Now I am Ninety-one


Ten years ago when I first wrote to you after my 81st birthday, I was still active and able to give my penny’s worth to others: presence in a Centre for the homeless, visiting old friends and parishioners and being an active member of the community.

Now as described in Shakespeare’s poem I am sans hearing, sans smell and sans sight and to top it all with a pace-maker and a very weak heart. I feel my way around, often breaking pots and dishes and causing disruption and spills…. Luckily we can see the funny side and have a good laugh together!

With the help of Blind Aid’s little gadgets I can still listen to Scripture especially the Gospels read by David Suchet – What a joy! I manage to listen too to Biblical commentaries and I cannot tell you how helpful and wonderful that is. I also listen to the news on the radio and follow all that is going on in our poor world. To relax I listen to Agatha Christi sent to me by Blind Aid on MP3.

I become more and more aware that the space between heaven and earth is as the Iona Saints discovered on their island, 'a very thin place’.

My temperament remains the same but I go on learning how to be wiser. Often I have no choice but to let go, to allow others to make decisions for me. I would love to understand better what is said but am overwhelmed by the kindness and patience of my community and friends.

I pray continuously for God to have mercy on our world and I feel at peace just being there and joining in when I can, thanking God for his unending love and care for each person.

My key word now is SILENCE. I have nothing to prove, only to let go and enter into the silence of God. It is a silence filled with TRUST and with HOPE like our snow covered earth outside the window.

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