Jesus Caritas

God, if you exist, let me know you.

O my God, how closely you were keeping me under your wings when I did not even believe you existed!

You made me feel a painful emptiness, a sadness I've never felt before. This sadness and this restlessness was Your gift. How far I was from realising it.

My God, you kept alive in me an attraction for study, for serious reading and for things that are beautiful, as well as a revulsion for vice and for ugliness. I did evil but didn't approve of what I was doing or like it. You made me feel a searing emptiness, a sadness that I have never experienced except then.